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Tabula Rasa

by In Writing

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1.
As winter crept into your bones you became a ghost that haunted the floor boards of our home. You Loomed in the halls, staring at unfamiliar faces placed in frames that hung on the walls. Do you remember or are you trying to forget? That you've outlined every doorframe hoping the creaks that they made would scream your name, but you hear nothing, you're nothing at all. You were only looking for a place to lay your head down and as you began to sink into yourself, I just watched you drown, we watched you drown.
2.
Sunny Side 02:11
The smell of our summer still linger in the sheets and these thoughts of you are memories I couldn't keep. So I'm sorry if this comes off as rash but I only wish you the best as you swallow your regrets sharing sweat in a strangers bed pile your regrets sharing sweat. These broken hands are tired of trying to fix what could never be replaced.
3.
Rusting 02:39
I've wasted my time building bridges out of sticks trying to lay the weight of the world on top of it. I saw right through your skin right to where your heart laid paper thin, and I tore it up with my own bare hands because I never seemed to mention my intentions. Attempting to buy some time but it seems like I don't have any common sense left to dish out or take in our tired lives have been wasted on trying to fix all the problems that could of been solved with replacement.
4.
New Year 02:57
I'm bringing in the new year alone. Hanging by a thread by my bedside, I'm hanging on the phone. I'm waiting on a call from you or anyone at all. I spent the whole year feeling sorry for everything yet I feel nothing for you at all. You're bringing in your new year with him learning the way your hips fit in with his. Letting go of every subtle insecurity, every mental instability, to the point where I mean nothing to you anymore. I spent the whole year feeling sorry for everything yet I feel nothing for you at all. So I'll sit and stir with vision blurred and a slight slur under my tongue and in the back of my mind for a second of our time, I'll think about you and how the new year begun.
5.
Roots 02:43
You broke the chain in your eyes and you lost all sense of direction staring blankly at a compass. Rooted to your ignorance growing trees who's leaves fall short like self assurance, fall short like you and I know there's worse things than being alone and I know there's worse things than being alone at home but your wizened eyes have lost sight of the world and all that it could be all the you could be. You broke the chain in your eyes and you lost all sense of direction so when you find yourself in short two sided letters you can sort them out and come back home.
6.
Somehow nothing ever seems to be over. Nothing ever ends, again I will feel the beating of, the natural calling that my heart functions for. The purposeful words that you spoke clammer about with concussive sound that it leaves me in a tattered confusion that lingers in my ears for days waiting to fall into the love of her hands ripe with intention and meaninglessness. She cares not to taste the fruit that is truth and I'm telling of a great love that may release her from the bonds of uncaring and sour thoughts. Though she may never care to see the sight of enlightened eyes she will see how deafening the sound and future pain may feel. Then again I will fall back into the same pattern because nothing ever ends, nothing ever seems to be over. It's over again.
7.
I tried to make sense of the situation but my mind can't seem to find words that make sense at all. You fucked up again getting drunk with college kids. You're trying to find a reason or an excuse to why you feel as miserable as you do. Don't trade something important for something immediate, don't swear on your life and act like you talk from experience. You've been drowning in plastic cups because you never really had enough, hoping that someone would notice and pull you out of the rut that you've been building since your birth so ill lend you a hand or a shoulder and I'll tell you for what it's worth. Don't trade something important for something immediate, don't swear on your life and act like you talk from experience. You're okay you're okay you're okay you'll grow up someday.

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released August 3, 2013

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